Film Review: If I Had Legs I’d Kick you
Los Angeles, CA (Elevation Magazine) 02/01/2026
“If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You” is an amazing film written and directed by Mary Bronstein. It stars Rose Byrne, Conan O’Brien, Danielle Macdonald, and A$AP Rocky. The film follows a woman as she tries to manage her life, career, and her daughter’s illness. Her daughter suffers from a severe eating disorder, which requires her to be fed through a gastronomy tube.
The film exposes the intense high stress and overwhelming caretaking needed for her daughter’s condition. As the narrative unfolds, it seems like issues are piling on top of each other for Linda, played by Rose Byrne. The film starts with her picking up her daughter, who drops a pizza. When they arrive home, it momentarily seems as if Linda might get a breather. However, her daughter suddenly begins yelling for her the bathroom is flooding, and the daughter is asking to be picked up. As Linda walks through the hall, she notices more water flooding in. She opens the bedroom door only to find water seeping in from cracks in the ceiling; soon, the ceiling caves in. Linda’s life is literally crashing down around her, forcing her and her daughter to be relocated to a local motel.
While it’s obvious that her daughter requires the feeding tube, the film intentionally keeps the child off-screen. The audience hears the conversations between Linda and her daughter, but we never see her, which further emphasizes Linda’s struggle and despair. Linda is desperate to get her daughter off the tube, but her husband is absent, only communicating via phone while away on a work trip.
Linda endures sleepless nights, drifting further from her daughter and the motel. As the film progresses, so does her breakdown. I found myself checking to confirm the film’s writer and director, as it felt reminiscent of a Darren Aronofsky film.
Linda’s professional life as a therapist is no easier. Ironically, she needs therapy herself, and her relationship with her own therapist, who is also a neighboring doctor at her office, is awkward and strained. She seeks validation from him, leading to a strange moment where, in a breakdown, she tells him, “I love you,” as he walks away.
Rose Byrne delivers an outstanding performance as Linda spirals, obsessively confronting her life, her past, and her patients. One particularly challenging moment occurs when Caroline, a patient of hers, leaves her baby with Linda. This pushes Linda beyond her limits; Caroline later shows up at the motel and slaps Linda, signaling the fragility of Linda’s mental state.
The film culminates in a haunting scene where Linda attempts to drown herself after removing her daughter’s feeding tube. It explores a side of motherhood we have rarely seen before, focusing on Linda’s burdens and her struggling attempts to maintain control as her life unravels.
